It would probably...

be a good idea for me to cancel Food Network and Bravo and the Travel Channel on my Direct TV package. I really, really, really, need to stop watching FOOD SHOWS. I prefer watching the Travel Channel, but lately, it seems that the Travel Channel has had just as many food shows as Food Network (Anthony Bourdain, anyone?)

When the Travel Channel isn't running food shows, it seems to be running those stupid "haunted places" shows. I went on a ghost tour in St. Augustine with my family a few years ago. It was dumb...not even remotely scary. I'm not saying that I can't be scared. Heck, I slept on the floor in my Dad's bedroom for about a month after he let me watch Poltergeist when I was a kid. Were you kidding me, Dad? I HAD one of those hideous clown dolls! I'm still scared of clowns.

But to the point at hand...if the Travel Channel had more shows about going to places where I'd have to be seen in public in a bathing suit...and less shows about "10 Best Places to Pig Out" that would be one thing...but it doesn't. The Food Network is a no brainer. And Bravo...well, the ONLY things I watch on Bravo are Top Chef and Top Chef Masters.

So, why is all this a problem? Don't get me wrong...I LOVE watching cooking shows. I love watching EATING shows. While I'm typing this post, the Food Network is on in the background. It's a show with Guy Fieri wannabe Aaron McCargo Jr. called Outrageous Food....a poor takeoff on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. They're making fresh ice cream right now. I would like some ice cream...RIGHT NOW. A few minutes ago they were eating really big sandwiches. I would like a really big sandwich right now too. Oh Lord, now it's Iron Chef! Battle Sturgeon!! See the problem?

From what I understand, I can't cancel these networks without cancelling a bunch of others that we watch all the time too. Even if I did cancel them, I can't watch any television at all without being exposed to a constant barrage of ads for food. Have you seen the new Carrabba's commercial? I love Carrabba's. I haven't been to Carrabba's in months. I think I NEED to go to Carrabba's tomorrow!

So, what am I going to do? For right now, probably nothing. What I've been doing for the past month or so seems to be working...slowly but surely. Sure, the shows and commercials induce cravings but I'm always going to have cravings. I guess I need to learn to fight them. When I can walk again, I'll start working out and working out helps keep the food cravings under control. When I can walk, I also spend a lot less time in front of the television so I'm sure that will help too.

Hey, Ass...getting scared yet? You should be. I'm figuring this stuff out. One step at a time.