It has been determined...

INDUBITABLY determined, that I will NEVER be a runner.

Sometimes, the best thing a person can do to get where they're going is to admit they're lost and make a u-turn or stop and ask for directions.

I made it through the first week of the C25K program before my bad ankle crapped out on me. It was fun while it lasted. I've determined, however, that it's in my best interest to avoid the necessity of having the surgery my podiatrist recommended. Remember? I think I might have mentioned a while ago. It's the surgery where he replaces my "over-pulled taffy" ligaments in my ankle with ligaments that some dead person is no longer using. Gross. Gross. GROSS!!! Besides being a disgusting idea, the MINIMUM recovery time from this surgery is six weeks. That's six weeks being completely non-weight bearing...rolling around on one of those little carts. That's six weeks best case scenario. Considering that every time I've ever had surgery MY recovery time has been more like twelve times the best case scenario/average recovery time, all I can say to the whole notion is, "Thanks but no thanks!"

I prefer to reassess my goal. OK. I'm done. My goal of running a 5K is vapor. Gone. Poof!

Being able to WALK > Being able to run

In other news:

Tomorrow marks five weeks until I leave for my cruise. My weight loss has been pretty much stalled (not accounting for the 12 pounds I GAINED while I was completely out of commission with the vertigo) for a while now. I reintroduced a lot of bad eating habits while my fat ass and I were sitting around waiting for the world to stop spinning. When I was finally able to start working out again, I used all the exercise as an EXCUSE for eating extra crap. Great excuse, isn't it? "Sure, I can eat 2000 calories worth of pizza tonight. I burned off at least 300 calories on the treadmill this afternoon." Smart stuff.

So, like I said, I've got 5 weeks. I know how fast I can lose weight when I eat right. I've got my trainer's help. I've found lots of classes at the gym that I adore. I don't need to be able to RUN to get where I'm going. I do need to quit stopping to pick up junk food along the way! All those detours are making the trip take a lot longer.

Holy tough day at...

the gym, Batman!!

I did it! I started the C25K program this morning. I started in spite of the rain. I started in spite of the cold. I started in spite of the lack of ANY hot water to take a shower to help me wake up. (I guess cold water helps me wake up more than hot anyhow!) I started in spite of my demon ass telling me, "eat a couple Eggos with peanut butter and bananas and lay down on the couch to watch Comedy Central!"

This morning, I hauled my ass out of bed and was at my trainer's gym at 8:00 a.m. I USED to be a morning person, but lately, I've been wanting to sleep later and later and later. I think it probably has something to do with staying up at night later and later and later. I've got to get back on my normal schedule, but that's not priority #1 right now.

I had a full hour of weight training with my trainer at her gym, then I drove across the street to Gold's and hit the treadmill. Considering that it's been several months since I managed to do more than a half hour or so of cardio in one shot, I was terrified....but I went. I was trying (yeah, I know "trying" is a 4 letter word) to do the longer distance, 6 week version of the C25K program. It seems that there are several.

For Week 1 - Day 1, my instructions were to:

* walk "briskly" for 1 mile...then...
* run 2 minutes until reaching 3.5 miles...then...
* walk for 1 mile

I managed to:

* walk "briskly" (if 3.3 mph is "briskly) for 1 mile...then...
* run (more like lumber at 4.5 mph) for 2 minutes (in 30 second bursts) every 0.5 miles until I reached 2.5 miles...

Then...

I collapsed for about 10 minutes.

Then...

I took an hour long "BodyFlow" class. For those of you that are unfamiliar with the Gold's Gym "Group X" classes, BodyFlow is a combination of taichi, yoga, and pilates.

Then...

I went home and ate the most massive salad ever with some of my trainer's yummy "unfried" chicken strips cut up on it.

Now...

It's everything I can do to summon the energy to type this post.

Later...

I'm hoping my husband will want to drive me back to the gym. (He committed to starting the C25K program today too!) I don't think my arms have the strength to steer. If we go, I will knock out at least another mile on the treadmill.

Judging by how much my EVERYTHING hurts right now, I can tell that this is going to be a long, tough, but VERY rewarding program.

I'm starting the...

C25K (Couch to 5K) training program tomorrow. While the normal program runs for about 9 weeks, I found one that's only 6 weeks. I'm going to try to do a combination of the two. The shorter program seems to put more mileage on you...the longer one starts with you jogging more...faster and sooner. Considering that I've realized that I can do just about ANYTHING for a couple minutes at a time, I'm going to push along with the shorter distances and move my ass a little faster. Why? Because the idea of walking/jogging/running/dying on a treadmill for upwards of an hour and a half a day is abhorrent to me!

I'm enlisting my husband to keep me company at the gym. I've told my friends that I'm doing this. I've told complete strangers on cruisecritic.com that I'm doing this. I want to be able to RUN when I go on my birthday cruise! I also desperately want less of my ass to be hanging out of my bathing suit. This program's going to help me accomplish both goals and I'm seeking out anyone and everyone to help me stay accountable.

Speaking of accountability...I've started emailing my trainer every day with a list of all the food I've shoved down my gullet. She's having some sort of contest and, technically, only wants us to email her when we do NOT screw up and eat things like chocolate bars and tortilla chips...but I'm breaking the rules and telling her about EVERYTHING I eat. It's the honor system, I know...and I guess I could lie and not tell her about the things that I should have stayed away from....but, dammit, she's tricky. I know she can look at my ass and tell if I've been eating right...so I might as well preempt her and 'fess up.

Ass, you'd better suck it in. I already admitted scarfing 1/2 of that milk chocolate sea salted caramel bar yesterday. It's going to get beat off you one way or another.