I have lost...

4.4 POUNDS since December 30th. I think that's a pretty darn good REstart.

I owe a debt of gratitude to my younger son (who has a body fat percentage of maybe 5% but came home from his first semester at college feeling "chubby.") I'm so proud that he's aware of and concerned about his own health and knows what it takes to be HEALTHY. He's been a great influence on our family's eating habits...even taking it upon himself to grill massive quantities of chicken breasts.

I also owe a debt of gratitude to whomever invented my FITBIT. (Yes. I like it more than the BodyBugg. I don't care that it might not be quite as accurate.) This little marvel of technology and the instant feedback that it offers has me doing things I NEVER would have considered doing a week or so ago....like walking laps around the kitchen island at 11 p.m. just to make sure I get all my steps for the day. The only thing that could make it a more perfect device would be if it were waterproof. I'm going to be bummed when the weather turns warm again and I can get back in my pool to not have it counting laps for me too!

Like I promised myself and all of you, I've been logging my food - religiously - BEFORE I put it in my mouth. It's making a big difference. I'm managing to maintain about a 1000 calorie per day deficit which mathematically means I should be losing about 2 pounds per week....which means that this time next year I'll be lighter than I've been since before my oldest son was born (two decades ago!)

I don't have anything particularly profound to say. I'm just working on being consistent. I'm working on moving my ass more. I'm working on finding myself again. I'm working on reminding myself that this isn't an overnight process. I'm working on learning better ways to handle my stress without drowning in a bowl of ice cream. I'm working on me.

I just began...

a long-winded and pathetically whiny post about how bad this year has sucked and how tough I am for getting through not only this year but all the trials and tribulations of my life and so on and so on and blahblahblah.

I deleted it before I finished.

As many of you know, I haven't been writing because life has gotten in the way. As much as I KNEW that I have to keep taking care of myself (and writing, for me, is part of that)...I had to actually DO it or I'm no help to anyone.

For about a month or so now, I've been doing it. I've been logging my food religiously. I've been wearing my Bodybugg and making a point to move a little bit more every day. I've been making the doctor's appointments I need to make to get the random broken bits and pieces of me fixed so I can function without physical pain. I have NOT been obsessive. I have NOT made it an all or nothing situation.

I am changing my life, permanently, for the better, one step at a time and it is WORKING! The pounds that piled back on while I was drowning myself in my food addiction in response to uncontrollable (Hi. My name is Naomi and I AM a CONTROL FREAK!) situations in my life are starting to come off again. They aren't coming off at a record pace, but the scale is showing a lower number each week.

The world around me hasn't changed. Life is still incredibly stressful, but I am learning to respond to it in a healthier way. I am also learning to look past all the crap and appreciate the good. It's a challenging path, but I'm rising to meet it and my ass seems to be falling a little behind. ;)

It's been a while...

since I've taken the time to sit down and write anything for my blog.

Why has it been so long?

Well, I've been busy.

Busy doing what?

Well, I've been busy EXERCISING!!!!

How's that for awesome?

It's true...since I gave up on the whole running thing and decided to focus on what I could do without hurting myself or my massively fried joints and ligaments, I've been feeling fantastic.

I'm doing strength training with Danielle (my personal trainer) on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. On Tuesday and Thursday mornings, I go to yoga. In the afternoon on Mondays, I take a class at my gym called "BodyFlow." It's sort of a combination of yoga, pilates and tai-chi. On Wednesday and Friday afternoons, I take a mat pilates class. My pilates instructor is fantastic. I'm getting ready to start taking a private pilates reformer class with her sometime on Mondays too. In between my morning and afternoon workouts, I do at least an hour of cardio...usually intervals on a bike or an elliptical depending on how my knees feel. I still walk on the treadmill, but I'm not going to try running again...at least not anytime soon.

According to my BodyBugg, my burn has been averaging around 3000 calories a day during the week and about 2500 on the weekends. I don't go to the gym on the weekends, but I've been trying to get my family involved in more physical activities...like bowling and whatnot. I'm going to be taking one of my nephews on his first horseback ride soon. I also seem to have a never ending supply of chores. Did you know that you can burn upwards of 3 calories a minute folding clothes? I can. Pretty cool, eh?

Come on ass, we've got laundry to do.

My apologies to those of you...

who have been whining, bitching, and moaning about my not writing anything recently. (You know who you are.)

Here y'all go:

I haven't been writing because I've been trying to avoid whining, bitching and moaning myself. For the past month or so, I've spent more weekdays than I can count in doctor's offices. I've spent so many hours having ultrasounds, MRIs, CT scans, and tests I can't even name that I'm quite certain my insurance company is going to put a contract out on me soon.

Today's a day off from all that. I'm at home. Alone. Watching television and doing laundry. I would like to go to the grocery store but I have to wait until my husband gets home. I've had more than one doctor tell me that I shouldn't drive while I'm feeling dizzy. I'm feeling dizzy so I'm not going to drive. Simple, but it sucks monkey balls all the same.

Working out has become nearly impossible. The rhythmic motion of ANY sort of cardio makes me so motion sick that I'm in the bathroom puking up my lungs within a couple of minutes. Yoga is a joke. If I bend over and then stand up again, the world goes grey and I end up on my ass. (I want to shrink it, not break it.) I managed to pull off a couple of sets of pushups today, but the vertigo's been significantly worse since I did. I'm hoping that's because I'm not allowed to take any Dramamine right now - in preparation for ANOTHER test that they're doing on me tomorrow.

If I were being careful about what sorts of food I was shoving in my face, I'd still be losing weight. Unfortunately, the more time I spend not being able to do much of anything besides sit around feeling sorry for myself the more I'm tempted to shove food in my face as some sort of self-defeating method of entertainment. This has been going on for about two months now, I think? I know I lost weight the first couple of weeks...then held stable for a couple...now I'm up five pounds in the past few weeks since Thanksgiving. Damn those leftovers! This does NOT bode well for meeting my goal if I don't get things under control in a big hurry.

So, what to do? Time to get things back under control. There's no sense wearing the Bodybugg when all I'm doing is sitting on my ass and/or being hauled around to doctor's all day. I can, however, get back on track using the Bugg website to log my food. I can also STOP eating things like leftover crackers and brie from Thanksgiving and Celtic sea salt caramels.

As we all know, we can't undo the past, but we can change our future by making smart decisions in the present. I can't change the fact that I ate a lousy breakfast today, but I CAN make myself something healthy for lunch...and have a protein shake for a snack later (instead of chips and salsa or some such nonsense)...and I CAN grill up some chicken and clean some lettuce or steam some veggies for all of us to have a healthy dinner (instead of ordering a pizza.) Sometimes it's easier said than done, but the way I've been feeling lately, I think it'll be easier done than said.

I'm not through with you yet, ass.

Normally, seeing...

an account deficit of 1055 would FREAK ME OUT!! As a matter of fact, before I checked, and double-checked the Bodybugg FAQs, it did freak me out. Guess what? Having a deficit on the Bodybugg is a GOOD thing.

I've never claimed to be good at math. Weight loss is all about math. Thankfully, the Bodybugg is doing math for me. It has determined that it's a healthy goal for me to lose 2 pounds a week. Initially, I had overridden its suggestion and told it I wanted to lose FIVE pounds per week. The bugg was upset about this idea, but let me have my way. I tried. I was not successful. The bugg was right. Being unsuccessful was depressing. It made me want to flush the bugg. But, considering that the bugg was a) very expensive piece of electronics and NOT a cockroach...so therefore, probably not easily flushable...and b) a birthday gift from my husband, I decided to bust it out again and give using it another shot. This time, I let it set the goals.

I think I understand the math now. 3500 calories to burn a pound, right? Today, having KEPT MY PROMISE to myself to log my food...I know that I ate just a little less than 1200 calories. I also know, according to the bugg, that I burned a little over 2200 calories. Take the difference and what do I end up with???? I end up with a calorie deficit of 1055...according to the Bodybugg. Well, if I really push my math skills to their outer limits...I can figure that if I can do that again tomorrow...and the next day...and the next...and so on...for the rest of the week...that by the end of the week...I will have a total calorie deficit of about 7000. Now, according to my math, 7000 divided by 3500 (the # of calories it takes to burn a pound!!)= 2!!!! How crazy is it that the Bodybugg KNOWS that too? Amazing...almost like magic.

I can't wait to see how it all adds up tomorrow.

What "they" say...

is true. You really do need to write down what you're eating. Well, maybe YOU don't...but I do. It's so damn easy to trick myself into thinking that I'm eating less. A little bite here...a little bite there...all those "little bites" add up to a couple of extra meals (maybe more) by the end of the week. When I don't write down what I'm eating, invariably, I don't lose weight...or worse, I gain!! I've been kidding myself for the past couple of weeks. I've done a great job "automating" my meals...especially breakfasts and lunches during the week. Weekday dinners and weekends still get away from me. This week, for example, I got up every morning and ate a hard-boiled egg and an orange for breakfast...for lunch, I had a big, green salad from the grocery store salad bar (lots of fresh, raw veggies, a couple of ounces of lean protein, and a tablespoon of dressing)...dinners, who knows? Does anyone know what I ate for dinner? I have no clue. It was different every day and I didn't write it down. See the problem?

So, I promise myself this: starting tomorrow morning, I will write down what I'm eating. Every bite of food that goes in my mouth will be documented. At the end of the day, I'll log it all into the Bodybugg system. It'll all be there...staring me in the face...inescapable...unavoidable. I won't be able to kid myself about the extra couple 100 calories of this or that...here and there. My ass won't be able to kid me about it any more either.

One step at a time.

Do you ever...

think something is ridiculously complicated? So much so that you're ready to throw it through a wall or flush it down a toilet in order to avoid trying to figure out how to use it? Well, that's how it is in life for me with nearly all things mechanical. The bigger the book of instructions, the more likely it is to bring me to tears and/or screams of rage.

So, you can imagine the fear that was brought about by my dear, sweet hubby buying me a BODYBUGG for my birthday. Remember my noble (but unsuccessful) attempts to set the loaner up while I was at fat camp?

The new BodyBugg is prettier than the loaner. Its monitor is shiny and silver and has a bright turquoise light. And it beeps when you push the buttons! I'm enamoured. I do love the idea of being able to use all of its exciting features.

But, once again, I open the box and find not one, BUT TWO giant instruction books...one for the Bugg and one for the display...and then, of course, there's a whole other set of instructions on the internet for setting up the online program.

Tears and screams of rage again?? Of course! For a little while, at least. But guess what?? I powered through it!! I didn't want to hurt my hubby's feelings. He always thinks long and hard about gifts for me. (I really am the luckiest wife in the world. I'll never begin to guess how he puts up with my crazy nonsense!) He would have been devastated if I'd given up and stuck the Bugg on a shelf in the closet or ran it over with my truck.

So...after many hours of frustration, I managed to set up my online account...and then, miraculously, it only took me a few minutes to figure out which end of the black cord/plug/thingy stuck into my laptop and which stuck into the Bugg. I was able to charge it successfully...and even more miraculously, I was able to get the information I'd typed into the computer to travel through the black cord/plug/thingy into the Bugg so it would know important things like how fat I am and how big my ass is and how much I'm trying to shrink it!

I was also able to figure out how to get the Bugg off of the black cord/plug/thingy and install it into its arm strap AND get the pretty silver monitor thingy installed into its watch band. Are you impressed yet?

I've been wearing it for nearly two weeks now. It's keeping track of all the calories I'm burning...hopping back and forth to the bathroom with my cool walker. I've even had my coaching session with the BodyBugg professional that taught me how to use all the online features. (You know if they would just have a real person come help you get set up from the get-go it would save people like me a lot of grief!)

For the past couple of days, I've been using the BodyBugg program to log my food instead of Fitday.com. It is easier to log food on the BodyBugg program...only because it seems to have more foods in the database. My understanding is that if you upgrade on Fitday.com and pay their membership fee (instead of being a cheapskate like yours truly and just using the freebie membership) you get a bigger database of foods. I just don't see any purpose in paying for both. I'm still staying on Fitday.com to use some of the other features though...especially the forums. The people on there are great and very supportive.

So, what's my point? Well, I'm proud of myself for gutting the BodyBugg setup out. Normally, I would have given up or smashed the damn thing with a hammer...but I didn't...and I've found it to be quite useful! Go me!