the last time I wrote a blog post, I had to have back surgery. It's been something I was avoiding for nearly two decades, but this time I had to face the inevitability of it. I had a severe L5/S1 herniation and the disc was impinging upon my sciatic nerve so much you could have stabbed me in the foot with a fork and I would not have known you did it.
The surgery (laminectomy and microdiscectomy) was successful. Within four hours of waking up from the anesthesia, I was looking for my underpants because I was out of pain and ready to get dressed and go home! It took another month or so to recover from the surgery itself and I'm still in physical therapy to regain the strength and flexibility that I lost, but all in all I'm kicking myself for waiting so long to have it done.
As most of you know, I've been struggling with my weight more on than off since my kids were born. My oldest will be 21 next month and my little one will be 20 in November. It's definitely not "baby weight" any longer. As I've mentioned before, I had things mostly under control until my thyroid cancer diagnosis and subsequent total thyroidectomy in December of 2005. Since then, it's been a constant battle with low energy levels, a rapid resting heart rate, and injury after injury (back, ankles, feet, knees, etc.) It's been a constant repetition of the one step forward - two steps back regime.
Which brings me to a decision I've made and want to share with all of you...
I am going to have weight loss surgery. I am planning to have a procedure done that's called a vertical sleeve gastrectomy. In a nutshell, my surgeon will make one little hole in my bellybutton and remove a good chunk of my giant, pizza and fried chicken craving stomach through it. That big piece of stomach will take with it a lot of my body's ghrelin (that hormone that makes you hungry!) production.
When everything is all said and done, it should become much less difficult to lose weight. It won't be easy, mind you, but definitely less difficult. As I lose weight, the likelihood of injuring and reinjuring myself exercising and the risk of having to have more back surgery or knee replacements or heaven knows what I'd break next decreases dramatically.
So, I have made a pretty big decision to help me on the path towards health and fitness.
I hope you all don't think it's a cheat or a cop-out or a bad decision in general. I have thought all those things through for myself and still come to the conclusion that this is the right choice for me. I would love your support for this new phase in my journey. In lieu of your support, I appreciate your silence.
Love, N
You have obviously given this issue enormous thought, no doubt you've gone back and forth with this for YEARS, trying to reconcile what's good for your health, what's good for your sense of self and what's desirable and wanted vs. what's necessary. In my mind, with this first "public" revelation, it is obvious that your surgery is BOTH wanted and NECESSARY. This was a very difficult decision for you but I am glad you made it. And at some point, of course, the initial title of your blog may have to be "appended" because I have a feeling that after the recovery and what not, your ass is really going to be an "after thought" vs. what it has been for you since your babies. Congratulations! This is a really brave thing you are doing. Self improvement is equal to preserving your health and you are doing the right thing.
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