Friday, December 31, 2010

By George...

I think we've got it!!

After months of feeling like crap. After more trips to more doctors than I can count. After taking medical tests that would make anal probing aliens say, "why didn't we think of that?" After all of my own miserable whining...


Here it is:

In spite of some sort of "vestibular disorder" in my right ear, we think that the majority of my vertigo was being caused by my migraine medication. How did we surmise this? I had to STOP taking the medication for one of the tests. Within days of stopping the medication, the vertigo disappeared and hasn't returned since. Needless to say, I won't be taking that medication any longer - migraines or no.

It's wonderful to feel in charge, mostly, of my own body again.

I normally don't make New Year's Resolutions. I save them for my birthday instead.

This year, however, I am. I am not making resolutions about goals regarding losing weight or being organized or spending more "quality time" with my family. I've already made those. I'm making resolutions about HOW I'm going to get where I'm going physically.

Nothing complicated or profound, but here they are:

* I resolve that I will NOT eat out in a restaurant until my weight returns to the point I was at before I was hit with the vertigo.

* I resolve to lay off the SIMPLE carbohydrates until I've dropped two more sizes and even then to only consume them in MODERATE amounts.

* I resolve, barring illness or injury, to attend my favorite classes at my gym. That means I will be there for Body Flow on Mondays, Yoga on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Mat Pilates on Wednesdays and Fridays, and Body Pump on Sundays.

* I resolve to get back to work with my trainer as well.

* I resolve to try one NEW class per month to see if I fall in love with something different.

* I resolve to start the training course I was physically unable to take in January when it starts again in April.

I guess that's it. I think that if I work off of this list, I'll get where I'm heading. It's sort of like a MapQuest for the next year of my life.

I've got to wonder what obstacles life and my ass are going to throw in my path. All I know is that, "If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." - Frank A. Clark

What are YOUR plans?

Saturday, December 18, 2010

The past couple months...

have sucked sweaty monkey balls.

I have been a prisoner in my own body and, for the most part, in my own home. The vertigo has kept me from driving anywhere. I have been entertaining myself by spending inordinate amounts of time watching television, surfing the internet, and EATING.

What do I do when I get a chance to get out of the house? Lately, I've gone to the doctor and gone out to eat. Not good. Not good at all.

I never thought I'd get to the point where I missed the gym, but I'm there. I begged my hubby to take me the other day and managed to get in about 15 - 20 minutes of cardio before I felt like I was going to puke up a lung. It was better than nothing, but not nearly least not enough for me. I've lost a ton of endurance and a lot of strength too. Like I said...this sucks.

The good news is that I'll be heading back to ENT #2 this coming week for a follow-up. He should have all my test results by now. Maybe he'll have a plan too. The better news is that I haven't heard anything back from him as of yet about the tests. Considering the fact that bad news travels fast, I'm taking that to mean that I do NOT have a brain tumor or something equally awful.

In the meantime, I've taken to chewing ridiculous quantities of sugar free gum in order to keep myself from eating so much. It seems to be working. I've lost three pounds since I took up the habit. Granted, I'm still up 5 for the past month, but still.

I'm maintaining hope that my doctors are going to be able to solve this problem once and for all. I'm lucky enough to have excellent doctors. It's now not just me vs. my's me AND a fair crop of the Houston Medical Center vs. my ass. I'm confident we'll win.

Monday, December 6, 2010

"What do you get ...

when you guzzle down sweets?
Eating as much as an elephant eats.
What are you at getting terribly fat?
What do you think will come of that?"

I don't want to be Augustus Gloop!

The break's over, ass. No more rivers of chocolate for you.

My apologies to those of you...

who have been whining, bitching, and moaning about my not writing anything recently. (You know who you are.)

Here y'all go:

I haven't been writing because I've been trying to avoid whining, bitching and moaning myself. For the past month or so, I've spent more weekdays than I can count in doctor's offices. I've spent so many hours having ultrasounds, MRIs, CT scans, and tests I can't even name that I'm quite certain my insurance company is going to put a contract out on me soon.

Today's a day off from all that. I'm at home. Alone. Watching television and doing laundry. I would like to go to the grocery store but I have to wait until my husband gets home. I've had more than one doctor tell me that I shouldn't drive while I'm feeling dizzy. I'm feeling dizzy so I'm not going to drive. Simple, but it sucks monkey balls all the same.

Working out has become nearly impossible. The rhythmic motion of ANY sort of cardio makes me so motion sick that I'm in the bathroom puking up my lungs within a couple of minutes. Yoga is a joke. If I bend over and then stand up again, the world goes grey and I end up on my ass. (I want to shrink it, not break it.) I managed to pull off a couple of sets of pushups today, but the vertigo's been significantly worse since I did. I'm hoping that's because I'm not allowed to take any Dramamine right now - in preparation for ANOTHER test that they're doing on me tomorrow.

If I were being careful about what sorts of food I was shoving in my face, I'd still be losing weight. Unfortunately, the more time I spend not being able to do much of anything besides sit around feeling sorry for myself the more I'm tempted to shove food in my face as some sort of self-defeating method of entertainment. This has been going on for about two months now, I think? I know I lost weight the first couple of weeks...then held stable for a I'm up five pounds in the past few weeks since Thanksgiving. Damn those leftovers! This does NOT bode well for meeting my goal if I don't get things under control in a big hurry.

So, what to do? Time to get things back under control. There's no sense wearing the Bodybugg when all I'm doing is sitting on my ass and/or being hauled around to doctor's all day. I can, however, get back on track using the Bugg website to log my food. I can also STOP eating things like leftover crackers and brie from Thanksgiving and Celtic sea salt caramels.

As we all know, we can't undo the past, but we can change our future by making smart decisions in the present. I can't change the fact that I ate a lousy breakfast today, but I CAN make myself something healthy for lunch...and have a protein shake for a snack later (instead of chips and salsa or some such nonsense)...and I CAN grill up some chicken and clean some lettuce or steam some veggies for all of us to have a healthy dinner (instead of ordering a pizza.) Sometimes it's easier said than done, but the way I've been feeling lately, I think it'll be easier done than said.

I'm not through with you yet, ass.