Something really scary...

happened to me yesterday. I know it sounds silly, but for lack of a better way to describe it, I have to say, "I lost my mojo." I just didn't have "IT" in me...at all. I didn't feel like going to the gym. I didn't feel like going for a walk. I didn't feel like vacuuming up dog hair. I didn't feel like doing dishes...or folding laundry...or changing sheets...or scrubbing showers. I didn't feel like doing ANYTHING. As far as food went, I certainly didn't feel like going to the grocery store. I didn't feel like grilling any more boneless, skinless, f***ing chicken breasts for meals throughout next week. I sort of felt like ordering a pizza or something...especially when I smelled the meatball sandwich (on garlic bread) that my husband made himself for dinner. I didn't order the pizza, but the thought was there...and like I said, it was scary. I didn't eat according to any sort of plan. All I can remember consuming yesterday was a countless number of protein bars (literally countless) and some fruit....could have been worse...could have been Papa John's....but not what I'd planned to do.

When I say I didn't feel like doing any of these things, I want you to realize that I DID NOT DO THEM. I sat in a chair all day and watched television and farted around on the internet. At one point, I summoned the energy to take a bath. All in all, I probably should have stayed in bed. I felt like I needed to stay in bed...like my body was drawing me to be in bed. I was beyond tired with no explanation and it was actually scary. I could see the writing on the wall...a few more days like that and I WOULD order the pizza...probably with a side of fries.

This morning, I felt different, however. I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed. I went to the medicine cabinet to grab my Synthroid and what did I find lurking (in a bottle of the exact same size and shape!!) where I expected them to be? A BOTTLE OF AMBIEN!! So...to bring the mystery to a close....I don't think I lost my mojo yesterday after all. I think I accidentally misplaced it in a bottle of sleeping pills....the sort you're supposed to take...AT NIGHT...BEFORE BED...not in the morning in place of your thyroid medication!!

Ass, you thought you'd tricked me there, didn't you? Clever. Naughty. Turnabout's fair play. Just wait until Danielle hears about this!!