Thursday, July 22, 2010

According to the...

scale at my endocrynologist's office, I have managed to lose a whopping SEVEN pounds in the past SIX months. I guess I'm happy that I didn't gain weight with all the crap that's been going on...but damn...I wish I'd managed to pull off a better number than that.

Oh well, what's done is done.

I am slowly but surely RE-learning how to manage my stress levels and keep them from causing me to shove food down my gullet like a half-starved oil soaked pelican. I am slowly but surely RE-learning how to get up off my fat ass and get more exercise without hurting myself. I am slowly but surely RE-learning how to keep track of the math and know that if I consume less calories than I burn I will lose weight.

I just need to finish "slowly but surely" RE-learning all this so I can get moving towards my goals at a faster clip. I'm going to be turning 40 in less than a year. I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror the other day and, in addition to the Louis Vuitton trunk sized bags under my eyes and the deeply stressed and furrowed brow, I SWEAR I saw...get this...not just double chins...but CELLULITE on my neck!! How the hell did I get cellulite on my neck? I don't even have that much cellulite on my enormous ass (don't get any funny ideas, ass, I KNOW you're listening!), how could it possibly be on my neck??!! I have no answer to this horrifying question, but I do know that it WILL BE GONE before my next birthday!

One step at a time...when I keep them up, sometimes they add up to 20,000 steps a day and that, my dear friends, is a LOT of ass burning steps.

No comments:

Post a Comment