the size of a bull elephant on my dining room table. It's flowing onto the floor and spreading out of the room altogether. The majority of the contents of this mountain came out of my closet.
You see, it's almost time for the kids to go BACK TO SCHOOL!!!! I was just at Walmart the other day, picking up some Kashi cereal bars, and there were aisles and aisles of school supplies...all shiny and beautiful and whispering the reminder that it's a time of joy and celebration. Back to SCHOOL is ever so much better than just about any other holiday...in my humble opinion. My older son has gone from 270 something pounds...wearing a TIGHT 38 inch waist...to 195 pounds...wearing a 30 inch waist. He NEEDS new clothes! My younger son has grown at least six inches in the past couple of weeks. He NEEDS new clothes as well! However, in order to determine exactly what they need (they've got to have some underwear or something that still fits, right?)...I make them go through their closets and pull out everything that no longer fits or is in some other manner unsuitable to keep. If they can swap stuff around, great. If not, I don't force the issue.
This year, I decided not to be a hypocrite. It was high time I cleaned out my own closet. Since my ass expanded, I've been living in a land of delusion...hanging onto the "skinny jeans" and various and sundry other clothes that I thought I might wear again. I'm not talking about stuff from just a few years ago when I was wearing a normal size skinny jean...I'm talking about stuff from...get this..."back in the day!" I know!! Crazy, isn't it? My goal isn't to have the body I did from "back in the day!" If anything, I'd like to have a BETTER body than that...healthier...stronger...more toned...not just thin.
So, I cleaned out the closet. Every single item of clothing that is too small, regardless of whether or not I think I might fit in it again a week from now or a year from now is going to charity. Every single item of clothing that is too BIG is gone too. I'm done hiding my fat ass under giant sweaters and, for the love of God, I made my husband promise to divorce me if I ever bought another VELOUR JOGGING SUIT!! I am too young and not nearly fat enough (enormous ass or no) to wear velour jogging suits. What the hell was I thinking?
The funny thing is that the majority of what I'm left with is...EXERCISE CLOTHES!!! Are you surprised? I'm not. That's really all I ever wear anymore. If we go out, dressing up consists of a "nice" t-shirt and khakis or jeans...and I still have some of those left that fit me now. I don't need to be going out very often right now anyhow. It's too damn hard to keep track of what I'm eating when I do.
I might go to Academy or something when I take the kids clothes shopping and fill out my current wardrobe with a few more things to wear to the gym...but, other than that, I'm not going to buy any more clothes until I hit my ultimate goal. When I do, my sweet hubby had better hide the American Express card...because my new skinny ass and I will be going on the shopping trip to end all shopping trips!