from today I'll be taking my husband to San Antonio to celebrate his birthday. We're staying in a gorgeous hotel on the Riverwalk. We have reservations in two of the best restaurants in San Antonio. We'll be shopping for quirky souvenirs at El Mercado. We. Will. Be. Swimming. With. The. Belugas. At. SEAWORLD!! For those of you that have never heard of a Beluga...imagine a dolphin...increase its size by about three times...make it white...squish its face in a bit...there you go, that's pretty much a Beluga.
So, my fat ass and I will be at Sea World, celebrating my dear husband's birthday, by swimming around in a giant aquarium with the adorable baby Belugas. My favorite bathing suit is primarily black with a "slimming" white stripe. All I can think about is the shouts of terrified children, "OH MY GOD, MOMMY! SHAMU IS TRYING TO EAT THE BELUGAS!!!!"
It gets better. There is going to be a professional photographer too.
Honey, if you didn't know how much I loved you before, please know it now...and promise me that if they try to capture me and toss me back in the tank with the other killer whales you'll speak up before it's too late.
Ass, suck it in or you'll be muu-muu'd.