Monday, December 6, 2010

My apologies to those of you...

who have been whining, bitching, and moaning about my not writing anything recently. (You know who you are.)

Here y'all go:

I haven't been writing because I've been trying to avoid whining, bitching and moaning myself. For the past month or so, I've spent more weekdays than I can count in doctor's offices. I've spent so many hours having ultrasounds, MRIs, CT scans, and tests I can't even name that I'm quite certain my insurance company is going to put a contract out on me soon.

Today's a day off from all that. I'm at home. Alone. Watching television and doing laundry. I would like to go to the grocery store but I have to wait until my husband gets home. I've had more than one doctor tell me that I shouldn't drive while I'm feeling dizzy. I'm feeling dizzy so I'm not going to drive. Simple, but it sucks monkey balls all the same.

Working out has become nearly impossible. The rhythmic motion of ANY sort of cardio makes me so motion sick that I'm in the bathroom puking up my lungs within a couple of minutes. Yoga is a joke. If I bend over and then stand up again, the world goes grey and I end up on my ass. (I want to shrink it, not break it.) I managed to pull off a couple of sets of pushups today, but the vertigo's been significantly worse since I did. I'm hoping that's because I'm not allowed to take any Dramamine right now - in preparation for ANOTHER test that they're doing on me tomorrow.

If I were being careful about what sorts of food I was shoving in my face, I'd still be losing weight. Unfortunately, the more time I spend not being able to do much of anything besides sit around feeling sorry for myself the more I'm tempted to shove food in my face as some sort of self-defeating method of entertainment. This has been going on for about two months now, I think? I know I lost weight the first couple of weeks...then held stable for a I'm up five pounds in the past few weeks since Thanksgiving. Damn those leftovers! This does NOT bode well for meeting my goal if I don't get things under control in a big hurry.

So, what to do? Time to get things back under control. There's no sense wearing the Bodybugg when all I'm doing is sitting on my ass and/or being hauled around to doctor's all day. I can, however, get back on track using the Bugg website to log my food. I can also STOP eating things like leftover crackers and brie from Thanksgiving and Celtic sea salt caramels.

As we all know, we can't undo the past, but we can change our future by making smart decisions in the present. I can't change the fact that I ate a lousy breakfast today, but I CAN make myself something healthy for lunch...and have a protein shake for a snack later (instead of chips and salsa or some such nonsense)...and I CAN grill up some chicken and clean some lettuce or steam some veggies for all of us to have a healthy dinner (instead of ordering a pizza.) Sometimes it's easier said than done, but the way I've been feeling lately, I think it'll be easier done than said.

I'm not through with you yet, ass.

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