Well...I'm on the rebound from the land of the dead. This illness or plague or whatever has been making the rounds of my household has been some seriously nasty stuff. Even my oldest son who has, "a superior immune system" ended up missing over a week of school. He's been clamouring to get out and about for a while now, but every time he's up doing anything he starts coughing like a craggy old man. School, maybe, tomorrow...work and whatnot is going to have to wait for a while. He'll be pissed, I'm sure, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.
My younger son and I went foraging for food this morning. The process nearly sucked the life right out of me. (It's hard to believe that I'm going to be doing 8 hours or so of cardio a day a week from now!) Walmart on a Sunday...fun...NOT! I ended up filling two carts full of the sort of crap that I thought my husband and two teenagers might be consuming while I was away at FAT CAMP for a month...nearly $500 worth of ice cream, frozen pizza, processed sandwich meat, tv dinners, chips, crackers, cans of soup, etc. If it was quick and easy and I happened to notice it, it went in the cart. There was absolutely no regard for transfats...nutritional content...fiber...calories...any of that. My only concern was that my husband and children not starve to death while I'm away. I've seen all of them spend too many hours standing in front of a refrigerator loaded with fresh fruits and vegetables and frozen, boneless, skinless chicken breasts at a total loss for how to feed themselves. I'm nearly certain that they'll eat crap while I'm gone one way or another...I'll try to undo the damage when I get home.
About this time next Sunday...I'll be in a limo on my way to a month's worth of I'm not sure what. That gives me less than one week to do a whole bunch of really important things. I have to PACK. I have to get Sears to come to my house and fix the washing machine I murdered yesterday so I can have clean clothes to pack. I have to take Yoda (the smallest of my four dogs - the Papillon with calcium oxolate bladder stones) to GCVS to get an ultrasound. I have to set up some sort of reminder system so that my husband doesn't forget to give Yoda his "gruel" in the morning and evening while I'm gone (the other three dogs only get fed once a day.) If Yoda misses his "gruel" it means more surgery for certain. I have to teach the boys how to do their own laundry so they don't murder the washing machine after Sears fixes it.
Most of all, and I'm pretty sure I've said this at least once (if not several times) before...I HAVE GOT TO GET MY HEAD ON STRAIGHT!! I need to not feel guilty about taking four weeks away from my family to focus on myself and my health. It is NOT a bad thing that I'm doing. It IS important. I will come back from this trip healthier. I will come back from this trip with more energy. I will come back from this trip with tools to continue that journey myself and help my whole family be healthier too. It is a short time that will bring huge benefits for all of us. Right? A small investment for a huge return. Isn't it? Then why do I still feel so guilty? Oh well, no turning back now!!