Saturday, March 6, 2010

So this is why...

I've been amiss in my promised blog posts, faithful readers...(to borrow a wee bit from Mr. King...those of you who read his books will know what I mean)...

To give you an idea of why I haven't been online much, here's an example of what my days have been like at Fat Camp so far:

I get up at 4 a.m.!!! Yes, you read that correctly. FOUR IN THE MORNING!! Thankfully, I'm a morning person so I don't even need an alarm clock to manage this epic feat. Unfortunately, for the rest of the people here, I'm a morning person and I'm trying to learn to be quiet before someone kills me.

As soon as I get up, I pop a Synthroid (can't eat for an hour after I take it...for a place where we're trying to lose weight, it seems like all they're ever doing here is feeding us?!?)...then shower...get dressed...dry hair...double check my backpack for:

**two extra pairs of socks
**extra panties
**an extra sports bra
**a full change of clothes
**flip flops for the shower (even though I always forget to put them on and will probably end up leaving here with a raging case of foot fungus)
**MY IPOD!!!! (I'm not entirely sure how I'd be living through this experience without the five hours of cardio mix I downloaded before I of the smartest things I've ever none)
**water bottle
**a jacket (it SNOWS in Utah...magic! :) )
**hand lotion
**some other stuff I'm forgetting now...or have forgotten before
**anything I think I might need for the afternoon activity (more on this later)...assuming, of course, we're told about it in advance...

By 5 a.m., I'm downstairs trying to be quiet and having my first snack (one protein and one carb..i.e. a hard boiled egg and an orange) of the day.

We get picked up at 5:20 a.m.

At 6 a.m. we're at the gym and we get to start BOOT CAMP. Boot Camp is like grade school calisthenics on steroids. We do jumping jacks and pushups and lunges and whatnot until we (I) puke. Fun stuff. Really. Well, everything except the jumping jacks...and the pushups...I hate the f'ing pushups...especially the "special" ones where you clap and other such nonsense. Nothing pisses me off more than NOT being able to do something....pissed me off yesterday to the point of tears. Pathetic. On the other hand, I love a challenge. Bring 'em on!

After boot camp, we have time for about an hour of cardio. I'm learning to LOVE the elliptical machines. I would LIKE to learn to love the treadmills. Eventually, my goal is to run my ass clean off. It's taken a week to find a pair of running shoes in my size. If I'd known that Utah had such a prejudice against New Balance women's running shoes in size 9-D, I'd have picked up an extra pair before I left home. Not knowing this, however, I waited to grab some here and was trying to make do with my old ones. Ouch. I finally got some today. They're perfectly...if you're all good, I might even share a picture. Can you tell I'm very excited?

After the time for cardio, we hop in big vans and go eat breakfast. No. The egg and the orange wasn't breakfast. I know. Strange. That was a "snack." Now it's time for breakfast.

Breakfast consists of more protein...more carbs....they're big here on balancing a carb with a protein. Over the course of the day, we consume about 1200 even though it feels like I'm CONSTANTLY shoving food in my mouth, I guess I'm really not. I've previously eaten 1200 calories as a snack on my way home from work to tide me over before I make dinner. Some of the more memorable breakfasts have been some sort of pseudo egg mcmuffin, oatmeal and yogurt, and PANCAKES! If I never see the broccoli quiche surprise thing again, it will be too soon. :/

We're back at the gym within about an hour. Group classes start at 8:30. Any sort of group class that you can think of, this gym offers. They have everything. It's crazy. The "Pilates for Weight Loss" class I took the other day almost killed me. Lots of the women here love Zumba (no, it's not the same as the robot vacuum thing I have...that's a "Roomba"...I checked)...Zumba is some sort of cardio/Latin dance thing. I'd rather stick hot needles in my eyes. If you're not in a cardio or strength class, you're supposed to be working out on piece of cardio equipment at this time.

At 10 a.m....Can you guess? That's right. Another snack.

Then...more classes..cardio...

Then back in the vans for lunch at around noonish.

Then back to the gym by 1 or so. We split into groups at this time. Half of us do cardio (there are about 20ish people here...maybe...I'd have to count)...and the other half of us break into smaller groups and do strength training with personal trainers...then we swap.

At 3? What do you think? Could I possibly be hungry? Not so much...but tough. Another snack. At least they have conveniently located bathrooms and garbage cans for when I puke up all these snacks while I'm trying to work out.

More cardio.

4:45...Vans leave for dinner.

An hour later...back to the gym...

At this point in time, some people have appointments for massages and such. I had one massage this week. Daily would have suited me just fine. Some people bag the gym and stay home. Everyone else goes back to the gym and does....MORE CARDIO! Sense a trend?

All the vans head home for the night between 7 and 7:30...

Home, shower, pack backpack for the next day, take nighttime meds and vitamins and a large handful of Advil, crawl into bed, sleep for what seems like a few minutes, and wake up to do it again the next day.

Saturdays are a half day. Sundays are off. Sometimes during the week (like yesterday when we went snowmobiling) we go do something fun/active in the afternoon somewhere between lunch and dinner instead of some of the other stuff, but that's all a little hazy right now.

What do I know for sure? I've launched an all out war on you, ass! One of the trainers here even gave me an instruction sheet today to prepare myself to run a 5k! Me, a 5k? You betcha!

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